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My Top Sex Tips for Men. The Gay Edition

Now this is probably going to be either brilliant or absolutely terrible, but I shall continue anyway. I always see blogs by gay men advising on how to have better sex, but they usually always mention the need to suck dick better or take it up the arse like a man, so i'm staying well clear from that and including some of my sex tips for men. I'm pitching this from my point of view and I like to think i'm so far from the typical stereotypes that gay men have these days, although, some seem to do it very well! I once heard the terms old gay and new gay, meaning the new are more interested in the extremely modern and cut out the history of our community and the old gay embraces it as well as moving forward. I guess i'm an old gay, so this is an old gay's perspective.

Now, upon reflection, these seem to apply to online cruising/text flirtation in the hope of getting a quick fumble. So lets not beat around the bush (pun intended), fire up Grindr and be on our way! Here are some of my top tips for men wishing to get ahead in relationships and to get some D.

Not On the Face!

While normally you hear this being screamed by those who fear the old face/ejaculation marriage, but this couldn't be far from it. I'm talking personality! While a pretty face is a plus, it's not everything. And to those of you who consider yourself to be stunning or fit, while you maintain the personality of Britney Spears, you're not going to get far with me, or those similar to me. You're probably best suited to those all about the face, face, face! 

Personality is free, unlike you're rather expensive, but tragically cloned Topman outfit. Try it out, it doesn't do you any harm.

I'm Above Average, i'm 6.5"

Congratulations, you have the average penis length, but you may be disappointing the size queens with your 'above average' Grindr bio. Over selling is rarely good. Over selling on concert tickets is great for those at the show, but overselling your penis size could be a let down to some people and you may find yourself unlike those at the concert; you won't be getting pushed and squashed in anything anytime soon. Honesty is key, remember that.

Don't Be Afraid To Go Deep! I Like It

I'm talking about your mind! If you find yourself not being interested in people's thoughts, emotions and opinions, then you can label yourself a metaphorical top and go stand in line with the other Ms. Spears' of the world and have a good time. I'm a power bottom when it comes to thoughts and opinions, I love it so much and nothing helps the progression of a conversation more than going deep. 

Cut or Uncut?

You cut me off and make everything about you and don't show an interest in me or my world, you're going down the wrong track. I'm the first to admit, I do enjoy talking about myself, but I also appreciate learning about others, especially if the possibility of a relationship/sex is there. All I ask is you give me the same appreciation I give to you, or the uncut will become cut.

And there you have it, some tips and tricks on how to get ahead with an old gay like myself, as well as the many others out there. Discussion welcomed!