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The Sticking Point



In life you deal with experiences that change you, these can be some of the most positive things you'll ever have to deal with and some can be extremely negative. Over time i've noticed that an experience I find difficult to deal with is, what I call, 'the sticking point'; this is where you're stuck in an experience and you don't know the solution or what needs to happen to drive the situation from stuck into positivity. I've experienced this fairly recently with relationships, whether they're friendships or something more sexual.

My latest experience was when I realised I was beginning to develop strong feelings for someone, while they were still stuck at the beginning of their feelings for me, resulting in a lot of confusion on both sides. I usually always get out of 'the sticking point' without being overly effected, but this one is a tad different. Somewhere deep in my subconscious, a voice is telling me to do one of two things: 1. Close myself off. Create an invisible, yet powerful wall to avoid any emotion breaking through; a metaphorical emotion contraceptive, a condom some might say or 2. Live open. Break down the wall and let whatever happens, happen. Usually I always go with the flow, but there's something about this is striking lightning inside that has me putting up a defence, whatever the size. I look at other relationships around me and realise it's not always the spark that makes you want to leap. Lightning is dangerous and can have a pretty shitty impact.

So really, I don't know what i'm doing or how i'm going to fix this. The term "going with the flow" has multiple meanings, I think in this situation i'm going to have to do just that, see what happens and let it run it's course, but I will also have the wall ready, just in case. The voice inside me is telling me to do both of the solutions i've previously mentioned, I guess I just have to do it with caution.